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“Wow. Wonder who wrote this description.”

—Jarród Higgins, boss

“She’s one of the best f***ing speakers at this school.”

—Peter Coughter, professor

“Oh, God. Here comes trouble.”

–Scott Witthaus, professor

“Go away.”

–Wayne Gibson, tormentor and dry erase board eraser thrower

spelled with a ch, not a k.
ends in -ta, not -ina.

my mom’s a minister. my dad wanted me to be a minister’s wife. they put jesus in my name in the hopes that i wouldn’t turn out like i have: an advertiser who shoves crystals in her bra before a presentation.

i grew up in a cornfield nestled between the bible belt and the rust belt. i spent my whole life trying to get out. now, in every new city, i keep hunting for little pieces of home.

if copywriting falls through, i’m gonna finally transform into the suburban housewife of my dreams, forever wandering the aisles of Liminal Target™, humming along to the U2 pumped through the speakers.



this is your last year to nomiate me for a 30 under 30 so like, you should do it.