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“Wow. Wonder who wrote this description.”

—Jarród Higgins, boss

“She’s one of the best f***ing speakers at this school.”

—Peter Coughter, professor

“Oh, God. Here comes trouble.”

–Scott Witthaus, professor

“Go away.”

–Wayne Gibson, tormentor and dry erase board eraser thrower

this is your last year to nomiate me for a 30 under 30 thing so like, you should do it.

my mom’s a minister. my dad wanted me to be a minister’s wife. they put jesus in my name in the hopes that i wouldn’t turn out like i have: an advertiser who shoves crystals in her bra before a presentation.

i grew up in a cornfield nestled between the bible belt and the rust belt. i spent my whole life trying to get out. now, in every new city, i keep hunting for little pieces of home.

if copywriting falls through, i’m gonna transform into the suburban instathot of my dreams, forever wandering the aisles of Liminal Target™, humming along to the U2 pumped through the speakers.